This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Randomize
