wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
