My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
