Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
