then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
