my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
