did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
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