Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
He? As in you personified your dick?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
