Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
