let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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