He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
