Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
