some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
