i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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