Is it normal to miss your booty call?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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