im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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