I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
