Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
