great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Randomize
