Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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