I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
