i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
