Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Still dying that you shit outside
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
