worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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