We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
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