You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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