The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
