He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Randomize
