Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
