i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
