Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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