Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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