Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
