No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
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