hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
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