Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
