Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
