She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
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