Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
