i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
