so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
