At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
