I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
