As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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