the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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