I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
These tits shall not be calmed
Randomize
