that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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