Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
