they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Randomize
