Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
