She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
